I’m writing [not]

So, it’s been awhile. I hope you’re all doing splendidly, lovelies. Life is looking up on this part of the galaxy, too. The beginning of the year’s been bumpy, but it’s getting back to normal – or what passes as normal here. I’m moving into my own little space at the moment (it’s a process), no more living with roomies. So: YAY!

Writing’s been slow – or not happening, depending on POV. Life’s taken over and I only had time for a some revising of short stories. Yeah, I know: lame. But sometimes life is lame and we’ll just have to muddle through, and that’s what I’m doing these days.

But, you know, I finally get what the kick is about when rich trophy wives redecorate their houses. Man, the possibilities! I’m not rich, but I still got to do a little furniture shopping – ‘course I had to assemble my furniture with a help from family members… but now stuff is standing in my one-room apartment. I get to fill a closet and stuffs like that. Kinda exciting.

As to writing, yeah, I’m totally stalling on Halfway Home, but it’s the first I wanna do. I started writing another short story for an anthology, but I’m not sure I’ll have it finished by the end of March which is the deadline. We’ll see. I pretty much threw Carpe Tempus out of my 2015 schedule and that’s when I’ll be working on my German novel(s). That’s the current state of my schedule, and it’s heavily under construction since my laptop died and I’m not in possession of a PC at the moment. It really sucks – I’m working with my mom’s laptop, or at the library.

Well, I just wanted to give you an update on what’s happening here. I hope you have better luck with your writing and life and situations in general. But, you know, if not… things can only get better from here on out. That’s at least a good mantra.

Later, lovelies.

NaNoWriMo – Update [4]

Let’s talk about life a little today – life that is put on hold during NaNo, maybe, or just life in general. I failed. I failed yesterday because this update is already a day too late, and I failed this week because I haven’t written a single word for NaNo.

This is part of NaNoWriMo, too, you know. The times you fail to improve, to even think about your project. I’m under a lot of pressure at the moment, I won’t go into details but it’s bad. Most times I’m good at ignoring the bad which is also bad because then it grows into a big bad heap and at some point it buries me underneath it. I guess something like that is happening right now.

You see, there was simply no time to write or even think or sometimes not even to breathe without the thought of impending doom. Sometimes, I’m most prolific in my writing when shit is happening, when drama comes to visit me at home but, sometimes, I just hide underneath a blanket and try not to startle the demons hovering over me. You can tell, I’m a drama queen, right?

But so it is and it’s not going to go away soon enough. I’m not sure if that means that NaNo is basically over for me, maybe I will raise myself like phoenix from the ashes and soar in the last few days. Knowing myself, that’s not likely but we’ll see. I’m not overly worried about this, as you may be able to tell. This is my first NaNo – I had high expectations, mostly in myself. I think it’s a good program, and I’m going to participate again. But I’m not hard core, I’m not forcing myself into a stress situation because I’m failing to win.

I believe in temperament. I believe in a muse. I believe that life has its own right to exist and torture us. I believe that I can only be a good writer if I’m true to myself and allow life to intrude, to allow my muse to soar when it wants. You can say, I’m just lazy and undisciplined and you wouldn’t be wrong. You see, NaNo for me is for fun. I’ve already written over 50,000 words a month once this year, and that was in February. So, maybe February is my NaNoWriMo. Maybe next year it will be June, or even November, we’ll see. As I said, I like the program, I think it’s a worthy cause. Maybe I’m too temperamental for it, maybe I’m too lazy for it. I’m going to try to up my word count a little yet this month. Or maybe I’ll just continue Carpe Tempus because I lke it. We’ll see. There will be another update yet this month and maybe by then I will have changed my mind about it yet again.

This is me, of course. And I’m not saying it’s the right approach to NaNoWriMo, but I find that it’s the right approach to my life. You may take this much more seriously, sweat over your word count and stress yourself because for you it’s worth it. I hope you’re having fun with NaNo, I hope you’re being successful to the point where you’re proud of yourself, and never disappointed. Because NaNo can do this for you. Push yourself, if that’s what you want this experience to be.

If this update was kinda weird for you, don’t worry, it is. I’m not making much sense, I’m afraid, but I’ll keep diggin’ and see what I come up with next week. Until the, I wish you the best with you NaNo-novel.

Carpe Tempus, lovelies.